Journey To Blissville

God works in wacky ways. Don’t believe me? Check this out.

I have been kicking around the idea of  doing a documentary on religion. I even added a snazzy tab on top of the blog for my film school bloopers and gag reel. Not really, I added it because I needed a place to practice my story telling skills and such. No big deal right? Well then I signed up for a blogger project. Mostly as a monkey see/monkey do. Fringes is doing it and since she is my blog/girl crush I decided to jump in and do it too. However I didn’t do my homework and it turns out that most of participants are…wait for it…wait for it…(pause for poise) CHRISTIAN MINISTERS AND BLOGGERS.

Unemployed, depressed, potty mouth, sex toy lovin, more likely to find me knocking down a mimosa at Sunday brunch than at Sunday service Tex just signed up for a blog project with bona fide Christian Soldiers. I have to be honest. I freaked out at first because I feared being judged. Comment on my writing style, teach me how to engage with my readers, but don’t tell me I am going to batter fry in hell because I loves me some Noah’s Arc and feel that the person who first added bacon to a burger was truly kissed by God. Then I realized that the judgement that I feared was being projected on my fellow bloggers by yours truly and I decided to just go with it. Then it hit me: This is a very target rich environment for my movie! Who better to interview than people who walk the walk and talk the talk!?

So here are a few ideas I am kicking around. Feel free to give me some suggestions or directions. Hell, answer any and all of the questions if you feel moved to!

• I want to know how does God manifest himself to you?
• Have you ever had an experience when you felt that you had interacted with God
• I no longer fear hell for I have been to the ghetto Walmart on Tax Free weekend. What are your views on Heaven and Hell
• Where you raised with religion? Are you practicing the same religion that you grew up with?
• Is religion part of your everyday life?
• If you are devout do you ever struggle with the tenets your religion?
• How do you feel that your religion has been portrayed in the media?
• If there is a heaven and St Peter lets you past the velvet rope, what do you think God will say when he meets you?

Like I said I am just kicking around a few ideas. Would any of you guys be interested in being on film? If not on film would you be interested in me interviewing you? I know that this is a big subject but I think we can put a fresh spin on it!

Anyhoo, I am outtie.

Peace out and as always I wish you peace within
Tex

I am not feeling it.

I am not a danger to myself or others but I am so not feeling it.

This weekend was hard.

When alone I was weepy. Again.

When I was with people I was agitated. I don’t like being agitated.

I don’t like keeping my phone on silent because the thought of talking to someone is just too much.

I know it’s only been a few weeks since I have been on my meds but COME ON.

Ok, the whine and soft cheese portion of this week is over. I will put on my big girl panties (because really, that is the only kind I own) and just keep on keepin on.

Peace out and as always I wish you peace within.

In a classroom of 30 students I am one of three females.

The men folk talk a different language and this is so not the place to twirl my hair or bat my eyes.

I only understood 15 mins of a four hour class.

I have four pages of notes to transcribe, a paper to write a journal entry to log.

I sent my Survey of Digital Film teacher an e-mail asking, ” That journal we are supposed to keep, is that for us or will you be reading them? Because if you are going to read my journal I want to make sure that I spell check and use complete sentences.”

When I offered to share my notes with a classmate his response was, “Word?” I thought he was asking what program I was going to use not questioning my generosity.

I feel like a fish out of water but I am so loving the ride! So what are you lovin these days?

So the meds have finally kicked in and I am slowly reentering my life. I am here, there and everywhere and just trying to work things out. Here are a few highlights…

• Please join me in welcoming the triumphant return of my orgasm! Yes, party people, I made sweet sweet love to myself and it was gooooood.  (cyber high five) Up high!
• I am back in school and will for sure have lots to say about that. Right now I am working on my attitude. Last time I was in school I found out that my classmates thought I was scary. “Tex, you’d come in. Sit in the back. Always had the right answers and gave us the stink eye if we didn’t.” I found myself giving the stink eye during orientation and thinking, “I don’t give a damn about your hope and dreams. Shut the fuck up and let the teacher speak.” Yeah, I know. Not the way to make friends and influence people. I’m working on it.
• I’ve lost a bit of weight. On the one hand I am thrilled, on the other I am so over my weight being an issue, you know.

Yeah, that’s about it. Boring, I know but that’s all I got. Meds make me kind of nutty so I am waiting for things to level off. Yeeah..alright…

Hula is the new Holla,

Tex

Today I meet with my doctor and if the planets are aligned just right I will leave with some yummy mood altering drugs.

Today I meet with my admissions director and financial aid person and after the numbers are crunched I hope to leave with some yummy mood altering money for school.

What’s on your calendar?

Last week I was crying in the shower. (Don’t fret this is an almost daily occurrence.) I was sitting in my shower crying when I thought, “This is a dynamic image and if I could place a camera right here, no there… it would really just pop!”

A few days ago I was watching a rerun of Criminal Minds and even though the scene itself wasn’t so scary the music gave me the heebies.

I often speak about how I think in pictures and sounds so yesterday I decided to stop kicking around the idea and I started the enrollment process at The Art Institute of Houston’s Digital Filmmaking & Video Production program. Yea me.

I am freaking out because I am not the best student but after looking at the classes I’ll be taking I am really excited.

So here is what I need from you guys: tell me what I need to know to get through college? And it can’t involve drugs or dick. I did that the last time around and we see how that turned out! lol

Saturday morning I woke up and for the first time in a very long time I felt good. So good that I changed the lyrics to Nina Simone’s Feeling Good.

Neighbor gettin’ high, you know how I feel
Cell-u-lite on my thigh, you know how I feel
Last nights make up in my eye you know how I feel
It’s a new dawn, it’s a new day, it’s a new life-for me
And I’m feeelin goood!

I was feeling so good that I moved the shit from the left side of my apartment to the right side and even took out a few bags of trash. THAT party people is what we call progress!

Sunday the heavens opened and the angels sang a host of hallelujahs, which is just a very nice way of saying BOW DOWN BITCHES! RHONDA BRITTEN & ANDY PAIGE WERE IN TOWN AND I WAS UP CLOSE AND PER-SON-AL WITH THEM BOTH!

The Sports Writer got the church in The Great (and Final) Break Up of 2009 so I only attend when there are special events and  Rhonda Britten’s Fearless America Tour is as special as they come. For three hours and style expert Andy Paige spoke about being fearless and how to change from the inside out or the outside in. They gave us so much information it was crazy and because it was such a small crowd any one who wanted special attention got it! I will be blogging about all of the nuggets of knowledge at a later time but I want to tell you guys how super cool these women are.

I met Andy the summer of 2004 after she wrapped on the first season of NBC’s daytime reality show Starting Over. She had just launched her website CentsofStyle.com and I had oil and gas severance pay so I hired her to come do a closet makeover. She came to my place on a Saturday morning and we hung out. She fitted me for a bra, went through my closet and showed me how to put together outfits and then after a skin and makeup lesson we went shopping. At the time Sporty was working on his book project and she chatted him up and gave him a few tips too!

I met Rhonda the following fall in San Francisco when she did a work shop at The Learning Annex. That was the trip where I realized that mama don’t like budget travel, but I’ll tell that story later. Anyway, small one day workshop with Rhonda is as Asian Jamaican would say, “all kinds of awesome sauce!”

Fast forward to Sunday. We are taking a break and I go up to speak to Rhonda. I wanted to thank her because if you are unemployed you got into the event for free. I start to mention California and she stops me. “You had just left a job in oil and gas!” Bingo! I tell her that I am down to my last $100 but really wanted to hear her speak so what she is doing for the unemployed is beyond…and I couldn’t get it out because I burst into tears. I know, I know! :rolleyes: She gives me a huge hug, some words of encouragement and suddenly I feel like less of a dork.

Andy remembers me too! I was standing in line to get information and she looks down and says, “I know you!” I remind her of our day and then all of a sudden I get the biggest hug EVER. I got the warm fuzzies.

So I am feeling good. It was a good weekend and I hope the yummy goodness spills overs into this week. I have a few meetings scheduled and I am hopeful that something will pan out.

Be fearless!

Tex

So I was hanging out with the beautiful people at an event that was at an upscale apartment complex. Lots of wine, sleeveless spring dresses and laughter. A small group gathered at my table and I am not sure to whom these woman were talking about but one said, “Yes! I know her! She is OUTRAGEOUS just like…” and she stopped mid sentence. I didn’t know if she was drunk, stroking out or simply lost her train of thought. Either way I thought I’d help her out and said, “Like Jem and the Holograms or Lionel Richie  at the American Music Awards?”

Crickets.

(Oh yes I did. I went to YOU MOTHER FUCKIN TUBE to get the sounds of crickets chirping. It was that bad)

So then one of them asks, “Jem?” And you would have thought that I was smart enough to shut the hell up and just talk about the shiny things in front of us but nooo. I had to go on and say, “Jem. Leader of the Holograms? She is really Jerrica Benton, owner of Starlight Music but Synergy turns her into Jem to preforms so she can keep funding the Starlight Foundation? She was dating that hot latino boy…Rrrrio.”

Now I speak pretty fast. And again, I don’t know if they were drunk, stroking out or just didn’t understand me because one of them pipes ups and says, “Jerrica Benton! We just saw her at The Continental Club!” This time I am the silent one because Jerrica Benton/Jem is a FREAKIN CARTOON from the 80’s!

Really?

Really?

How can you not know Jem?  Somewhere an 80’s animator is weeping and now I can’t get the opening out of my head.

Welcome to my madness.